.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
