Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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