He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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