I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I pour the whiskey from now on
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
