Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
