its not stalking. its research.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
