forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
