I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
