I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
