You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And then he peed in my hair
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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