woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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