Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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