I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We got so high we made milksteak
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
