It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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