i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
