She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
