Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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