There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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