Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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