Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
