He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
