omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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