Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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