im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
