Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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