Buhtt sex?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Found the puke drawer
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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