I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
