is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
