please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
