Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
