Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
it was like eating out sand paper
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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