i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
