Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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