I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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