thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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