the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
