im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
