I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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