guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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