I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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