Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
