He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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