In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
