u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Come see our sink grown plant.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
