went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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