i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
