U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
