I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
