My nipple is on Facebook.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.