Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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  (773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (1025)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy

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  (361): dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy http://tfl.nu/hpc6
  Replies (28) Good night (2915) Bad night (1029)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow

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  (989): i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow http://tfl.nu/zmy7
  Replies (11) Good night (2186) Bad night (866)
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  (925): View more from California

  he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look

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  (925): he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look http://tfl.nu/dco3
  Replies (34) Good night (923) Bad night (2598)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have

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  (601): ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have http://tfl.nu/3y2p
  Replies (14) Good night (5326) Bad night (951)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."

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  (719): Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.." http://tfl.nu/gg20
  Replies (17) Good night (3354) Bad night (779)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?

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  (808): Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way? http://tfl.nu/yy6b
  Replies (15) Good night (4775) Bad night (1235)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?

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  (630): hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister? http://tfl.nu/p7gf
  Replies (15) Good night (5344) Bad night (1770)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me

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  (845): I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me http://tfl.nu/ucgi
  Replies (4) Good night (3005) Bad night (1186)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.

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  (573): I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot. http://tfl.nu/yflo
  Replies (5) Good night (3988) Bad night (1118)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.

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  (623): My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here. http://tfl.nu/yssz
  Replies (21) Good night (4364) Bad night (1503)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..

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  (507): Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival.. http://tfl.nu/pwlv
  Replies (6) Good night (1524) Bad night (655)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?

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  (415): Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking? http://tfl.nu/sizi
  Replies (5) Good night (1932) Bad night (842)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?

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  (217): I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening? http://tfl.nu/9mh6
  Replies (0) Good night (703) Bad night (305)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it

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  (724): Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it http://tfl.nu/aom3
  Replies (2) Good night (224) Bad night (513)

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