sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.