Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  Do you need to be saved?

  (847): View more from Illinois

  No I think I'm God

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  (760): Do you need to be saved? (847): No I think I'm God http://tfl.nu/obwr
  Replies (11) Good night (1719) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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  (407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!" http://tfl.nu/fhku
  Replies (40) Good night (1742) Bad night (6187)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  did you answer or finish?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  both

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  (404): Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called? (1-404): did you answer or finish? (404): both http://tfl.nu/gzoz
  Replies (27) Good night (7452) Bad night (1079)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  sarcasm needs its own font

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  (440): sarcasm needs its own font http://tfl.nu/5kc7
  Replies (55) Good night (8485) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.

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  (847): Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals. http://tfl.nu/x5r2
  Replies (20) Good night (1121) Bad night (5552)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?

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  (519): He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him? http://tfl.nu/ad81
  Replies (5) Good night (3300) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.

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  (480): I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies. http://tfl.nu/khmt
  Replies (9) Good night (5944) Bad night (1155)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand

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  (215): The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand http://tfl.nu/qoyx
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (891)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king

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  (406): Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king http://tfl.nu/0wfz
  Replies (4) Good night (1711) Bad night (638)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!

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  (602): The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night! http://tfl.nu/j1nh
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.

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  (716): I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king. http://tfl.nu/29xr
  Replies (7) Good night (1379) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Real life dumb and dumber

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  (775): It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers (702): Real life dumb and dumber http://tfl.nu/6nu9
  Replies (3) Good night (815) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven

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  (316): I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven http://tfl.nu/86d6
  Replies (6) Good night (817) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Are you alive?

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up under the pier.

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  (703): Are you alive? (1-703): I woke up under the pier. http://tfl.nu/dfp7
  Replies (4) Good night (879) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.

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  (+44): He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy. http://tfl.nu/3usl
  Replies (1) Good night (988) Bad night (301)

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