Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(586): View more from Michigan

Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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(315): View more from New York

How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?

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These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
Read it at the TFLN blog
(646): View more from New York

I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

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(+61): View more from Australia

Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.

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