I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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