I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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