i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
