i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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