it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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