I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
do herpes really smell.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
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