She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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