Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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