My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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