She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
