I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
