Banned from zoo.
Again?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
