the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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