i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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